Never Again
by Miranthia
Summary: This is my second Hannibal fic. I like it more than the first one, BUT, that may not be your opinion. Once again, this is another little scenario that I came up with about what happens to Clarice and Lecter.


A/N: Sadly, no I do not own these characters, just the idea in this short story!

_Never Again_

She was still drugged but she had regained most of her senses. Dr. Hannibal Lecter and Paul Krendler had left the room, leaving Clarice to her thoughts. Her commitment to the FBI was pushing her to do something, to arrest him, but she couldn't. The morphine was slowly wearing off, leaving her mind more rational. She couldn't just stand by; she had to do something, even though she didn't want to. The kitchen door was hanging partially open and she saw that the Doctor had his back to her. She made her way into the room and raised a candlestick high, ready to strike him in the back of the head when he whirled around and grabbed her by the wrists, wrenching her weapon away from her as he did so. She struggled to get out of his grasp and he slammed her back into the refrigerator, his eyes boring into hers.

She glared fearlessly back, though still a tad groggy. The world's most dangerous man had her pinned to a refrigerator, and yet she wasn't scared. The feeling she had in her stomach was something far from repulsion or hate or fear, and it confused her.

"I came halfway around the world to watch you run Clarice. Let me run, huh?" Dr. Lecter gazed at this woman, something more intimate then lust growing in the pit of his stomach.

Clarice pushed herself from the fridge and attempted to fight back, but he had the upper hand. He slammed her back into the refrigerator and smiled menacingly, his eyes roving over her. He pulled the fridge door open and shut her ponytail in the door, breaking off the handle to reassure himself. He returned his gaze to her and sighed. "Tell me Clarice, would you ever say to me, 'Stop. If you loved me you'd stop.'?"

She was caught off guard and remained silent for a moment. "Not in a thousand years." she said quietly.

"'Not in a thousand years.'" He smiled and moved his face close to hers, causing something to jump in her stomach. He stopped a fraction away from her lips. "That's my girl." In one swift movement he had closed the gap between them.

She closed her eyes, a small tear running down her face. She wanted badly to kiss him back, but she knew she couldn't. It was wrong; why would she feel this way for a complete lunatic? She kept her lips clamped shut, refusing to give in to his need; refusing to give into him; refusing to love him; refusing to give in to her own feelings. Hannibal pulled back from her lips slowly and let his eyes rove over her body one more time before he let go of her. "Bye." he whispered before leaving her where she was standing.

Clarice reached behind her and yanked her hair out of the door. She walked unsteadily down the hall and rested her hands on a dresser, trying to regulate her breathing. She slowly looked up to see her reflection in a large mirror. She looked sad and forlorn, the tears slowly running down her face. This angered her and she brushed her hands across her face, a million things running through her mind. She hated what she saw; she hated what she had become; she hated the fact that she denied everything, she refused to give in, yet she was starting to slip. She wanted Dr. Lecter; she needed him; she missed him; she loved him. Ever since her first case, Clarice had fallen for the Doctor. He had listened to her, and he respected her; he saved her life. It was hard for her to figure out or explain why, but she did. She loved Dr. Hannibal Lecter, but she had refused; she had refused to admit that she loved him. She lowered her hands, her right coming in contact with a phone. She picked it up and threw it at the mirror, completely shattering it. Clarice stood there for a moment, still trying to work a few things out in her mind. She heard the sirens and made her way outside, towards the bank of the lake. She walked briskly down the hill, a small boat catching her eye. It spun around lazily in the water, the light from the moon revealing the deck.

"Show me your hands! Identify yourself!"

Clarice slowly raised her hands, her heart sinking. "I'm Clarice Starling, FBI!" She saw the boat fully, and it was empty. Once again, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, was gone, leaving her all alone, again.

Days had passed, weeks had passed, months had passed, and finally years had passed, and still not a word. At first it didn't hurt, but as time went by, it started to take its toll. She wasn't as passionate about her job as she had been, but she still managed to do it. She would spend her nights at home alone, trying to drown the thoughts of him out with alcohol, but it never worked. She always thought about him, no matter what she did. She needed him; she missed him; she loved him, she loved him with all her being. Running was about the only thing that could keep her mind off of him, and that's what she did, she ran. She ran away from her feelings, from her pain, from him; she ran away from herself.

Three years had passed and Clarice's pain had only intensified. She jogged down the familiar path, pushing the thoughts of him to the back of her mind. Clarice did this every day; ran across the bridge, down the path, and back again. The feeling that she was being followed entered her and she looked behind her to see that she was utterly alone. Clarice sped up, no longer jogging, her face expressionless. The harder and faster she ran, the farther she could shove him into the back of her mind. She kept her pace, feet pounding down the path as she strove to forget; forget how much she longed for him, how much she needed him. Clarice pushed herself to the limit, her heart beating painfully in her chest, her breath coming out in ragged sobs. She couldn't stop, she wouldn't stop. She would have continued until she collapsed, but a large buck jumped out in front of her and she slowed down then stopped. Clarice slowly sank down to her knees, her face buried in her hands as sobs ripped out of her body. The harder she ran, the further she would push him in the back of her mind; but she couldn't stop thinking about him. The truth was the harder or faster she ran, the more she thought about him, and it caused her even more pain, then she would stop and the tears would come. This time, the tears wouldn't stop coming. She sat down in the middle of the path, her knees held close to her as her body trembled violently, the tears still flowing. She wanted to die; she wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear, just so the pain would go away; just so she could forget. He had left her all alone, just like everyone else. Clarice finally pulled herself up to her feet and drug herself down the path, tears still rolling down her face. She collapsed into a patch of grass on a hill, her knees tucked into her chest as another wave of anguish washed over her and she cried herself to sleep, completely exhausted.

Hannibal Lecter had been watching her from the trees, just like he had done four years ago, but he couldn't take it any longer. For three years he had watched her run, watched her cry, watched her pain. For three years he had watched her sleep, touching her cheek lovingly and planting soft kisses on her cheeks that never stirred her, comfort washing over her soft features. For three years he had carried her to her bed when she had had too much to drink. For three years he had shared her sorrow and pain. Hannibal had wanted to come to her much sooner, but he couldn't. He had to make sure that she felt the same way for him as he did her, because he couldn't bear the thought of her turning him away. Hannibal had fallen in love with Clarice from the moment he saw her. He knew that it probably could never work out, because of what he was, what he had become. Yet, he knew, somehow, that she harbored feelings for him as well. She had shared her secrets with him, confided in him, and trusted him. He respected her because she was just that; she was Clarice Starling. She didn't hide herself from him; she didn't try to pretend to be something that she was not, she was honest. She was the most beautiful woman that he had ever set eyes on, and he knew that he never wanted to be with or look at another woman again. She was his everything; she had somehow tamed the beast.

Hannibal moved from the shadow of the trees and crouched down next to Clarice and stroked her cheek. Her face was still flushed, but she was cold to the touch. He bit back a sob and a tear slowly ran down his face. He couldn't let her continue to push herself to the limit; he couldn't do this to her anymore. It grieved him to see his Clarice, his little Starling, in so much pain because of him. Hannibal brushed the loose strands of her hair that had escaped her ponytail out of her face, then gently picked her up and carried her to his truck, which was parked next to her Mustang. He opened the passenger door and reclined the seat before setting her down and closing the door. He walked around to the driver's side; he would come back for her car later. A sense of peace came over Clarice and her eyes slowly flickered halfway open. She looked over and saw Hannibal at the wheel; he was taking her home. She closed her eyes, a tear running down her face. She knew that this was probably a dream, yet it looked and felt so real.

When she woke up, she was at home in her bed. Clarice sat up and looked over at the window to see that it was still dark. She pulled the covers off of her; she was still in her running clothes, but someone had removed her shoes and taken her hair down. Clarice swung her legs over the side of the bed and rested her elbows on her knees, her face in her hands. He wasn't there, it had been a dream. Memories and thoughts ran through her mind and she knew that they were threatening to overwhelm her, and someone else saw this as well.

"If you would have continued on at that rate, Clarice, it would have killed you, and that would not be acceptable. As I have said, the world would be much less interesting without you in it Special Agent Starling."

Clarice looked up from her hands and sat up straight, her eyes falling on the man standing in front of her. The breath caught in her chest and she fought back a sob. He was here, it wasn't a dream and she wasn't alone; he had come back to her. "Dr. Lecter? Where have you been? Why haven't you called or contacted me or...something?" she asked shakily.

Hannibal slid his hands into his shorts pockets and looked down at her, a sad and happy look in his eyes. "Before I answer, I just want you to know that I am truly sorry; it was not my intention to cause you this much pain." She frowned slightly and searched his eyes with hers. He sighed and looked away. "Clarice I have been here the entire time, watching you."

"Wh...what?" Clarice looked away, her mind spinning as her world stopped turning. He had been with her the entire time. He had been with her for three years, and he hadn't bothered to contact her. He had watched her deteriorate for three years, and he was the cause of it. She slowly raised a shaky hand to her mouth as the realization dawned on her; he had been the one following her, he was the one that carried her up to her room in the middle of the night. She glared at him and stood up, her legs aching and shaky from her heavy running. She swayed slightly and stumbled. Hannibal reached out to help her but she pulled away from him. "Don't...don't touch me." she said quietly.

"Clarice..." he reached out and touched her arms lightly but she pulled away from him again.

"Don't..."

"Clarice."

"Don't touch me!" she pushed at his shoulders but he managed to grab a hold of her and pulled her close to him, his arms wrapping around her. Clarice broke down completely, her face buried in his shoulder, her arms wrapped around him as well. "You...you were...you were here. You were here and you didn't tell me. You...you left me! You left me all alone. You left me again!" Hannibal squeezed his eyes shut and held her tightly, tears running down his face as well. "Why? Why did you...why did you let me run? Why did you leave me?" Her voice was full of pain and hurt and fear; fear because she was afraid. She was afraid that he would leave her again; afraid that he would let her run again.

"Clarice, please understand, I had to leave, because I had to know..."

Clarice turned her head and looked at him, her blue eyes full of sorrow. "You had to know what?" she whispered.

"I had to know that you loved me, as much as I love you. I couldn't bear the thought of you rejecting me; that's why it took me so long to contact you. For three years I watched you run; I watched you cry; I shared your pain and sorrow. I have watched you deteriorate, because of me. You have even stopped putting your entire heart and soul into your job, and I know it was because of me. I am so sorry Clarice, I didn't want to hurt you. It grieved me to watch you...and I couldn't let it happen anymore. I couldn't watch you cry or hurt or run anymore; I couldn't watch you suffer because of me. I love you, you're my everything. Please, Clarice, please forgive me."

Clarice pulled out of his arms slightly and looked up at him, their eyes meeting. Both were full of pain and sorrow and longing. She couldn't deny anything any longer; she couldn't run anymore; she couldn't cry anymore, and she wouldn't. Clarice was angry at him; he had left her, but then again he had come back. She didn't want to run or cry or hurt anymore; she wanted him. She needed him to make the pain go away.

Clarice leaned back into his arms and placed her lips lightly on his. Hannibal slowly ran his hands down her back, causing her to gasp lightly in surprise. He took this opportunity to slide his tongue between her parted lips, deepening the kiss. Soon, it became passionate, ravenous and frantic, each striving to fulfill their needs. Hannibal slid his hands underneath her shirt and pulled it off, placing his lips on her neck as his hands caressed her still bra covered breasts. She moaned quietly and arched her back slightly, her own hands grasping the hem of his shirt. Hannibal allowed her to pull his shirt off of him and returned to her lips for a fiery kiss, his hands stroking her back slowly. His hands roved all over her slender and toned form gently, trying in vain to eliminate her pain. Hannibal ran his hands over her buttocks and grasped the very backs of her legs. She reacted instinctively and wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck, his strong hands holding her firmly. Hannibal carried her over to the bed and removed her bra before laying her down. He hooked his fingers underneath the waistband of her shorts and panties, removing them at the same time. He stood back and gazed at her in wonder. Her pale skin was slightly flushed, her lips swollen. She had all the right curves in all the right places; Clarice was absolutely beautiful to him, from her long red hair down to her toes. Hannibal removed his shorts and crawled over the bed towards her, caressing her thighs lovingly. He trailed wet kisses from her belly up to the valley between her breasts before showing each one equal loving attention. Clarice closed her eyes and arched into him, all the new sensations and feelings overcoming her body. She had never been with a man before and each kiss, touch and caress was completely new and foreign to her. Her breath hitched in her throat as he placed open mouthed kisses up her throat to finally return to her waiting lips.

Hannibal positioned himself more comfortably on top of Clarice. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, their eyes locked. She ran the tips of her fingers lightly over his lips, her other arm draped across his back, grasping his shoulder. He kissed the tips of her fingers and slowly entered her. When he got to a certain point he stopped. Clarice took in a deep breath and nodded her head, her grasp tightening slightly on his shoulder. Hannibal thrust forward, completely inside her. She gasped aloud in pain, her nails digging into his shoulder. Hannibal kissed her cheek and whispered soothingly to her, waiting for her to adjust herself and calm her breathing before thrusting into her again. The pain subsided with his gentle thrusts, replaced by a feeling that Clarice had never felt before. Her hips rocked to meet his, her breathing sped up, the light gasps becoming louder. Hannibal closed his eyes, reveling in the feel of her and each sound she made.

Sweat formed on their bodies and Clarice's breathing turned into ragged sobs as Hannibal thrust harder and faster into her, causing her loud gasps to turn into loud moans of pleasure. His own breathing sped up, his moans mingling in the still air with hers. Clarice kissed him weakly, their mouths slightly agape and hovering over one another as he thrust harder, rewarded with a loud gasp or moan each time. Clarice could feel her climax drawing nearer, and Hannibal sensed it. He slowed down deliberately, pulling out slowly to thrust hard into her. He wanted to make this last as long as possible; he needed to show her how much he loved her; he needed to make her pain go away. It was all Clarice could do to cling to him helplessly, her body practically paralyzed from pleasure. Her climax hit and she dug her nails into him, sweat rolling down her body, a loud moan ripping out from deep in her chest, his name echoing in the room. Hannibal almost lost it then, feeling so close to the edge, but he had to try to hold on. He thrust harder and harder into Clarice, her moans and gasps bordering on the edge of screams. Hannibal thrust as hard as he could, his climax even nearer. He couldn't hold out any longer and let go, a loud animalistic moan escaping him as Clarice screamed his name, her name following. Hannibal thrust into her until all of his seed had emptied into her and he collapsed on top of her, their breathing still ragged. He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her softly, trying to get his breathing under control. Clarice lay under him, her nails still digging into his shoulder, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

When he finally got his breathing under control, Hannibal kissed Clarice deeply before he gently pulled out of her and rolled over onto his side and pulling her back into his chest, his arms wrapped around her protectively. He ran his fingers up and down her arm gently, and soon they were both asleep.

The morning sun peeped in through the bedroom window and spilled onto the sleeping figures of Clarice and Hannibal. Clarice's eyes opened slowly and she rubbed the arm that was around her. She replayed the previous night's events over in her head and couldn't help the small smile that crept onto her lips. She carefully turned around in her lovers embrace, her eyes taking in the sight of the sleeping Hannibal. She gently traced his lips with a slender finger and stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. She placed a soft kiss on his lips just as his eyes opened slowly. He smiled at her and brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face.

"Good morning Clarice."

"Mornin' Dr. Lecter."

They were silent for a while, enjoying each other's company in the quiet atmosphere. Clarice was happy; she had felt that a great weight had been lifted off of her chest. She didn't hurt; she didn't want to cry; she didn't want to run. She thought that everything was going to work out fine, until a thought clouded her mind. "What are we gonna do now?" she asked quietly. She still worked at the FBI; she had made love to a wanted man. This did indeed harbor problems for the both of them.

Hannibal propped his head up on his arm and touched her chin lightly. "We are going to live one day at a time, Clarice. We cannot know what is going to happen in the future, but I know that we are going to be just fine. The easiest thing to do would be to live life normally. You'll go back to the FBI; you'll do your job and pursue your cases. As for me, we can figure something out."

Clarice studied his face with her eyes. She knew he was right, but she couldn't help the slight feeling of dread that entered her. A small tear ran down her face and she nodded her head. Hannibal brushed it away with his thumb and kissed her lightly. "Just promise me Clarice, promise me that you won't run or cry or hurt anymore."

Clarice sat up on her side and looked at him, her eyes boring into his. "Only if you promise to never leave me again."

"I swear it on my life Clarice. Never again shall I leave you." He pulled her close to him and kissed her deeply, never wanting to let her go again.

"I love you Dr. Hannibal Lecter." Clarice whispered against his lips.

"I love you too Special Agent Clarice Starling, I always have."

Clarice smiled, another thought entering her mind. "I'll love you in a thousand years too."

Hannibal moved his face close to hers and stopped a fraction away. "That's my girl." He closed the gap and held her close, a tear of happiness running down his face.


End file.
